Pre Amble

It's official. My last day at work is on the 9th, a mere 4 days away, thus concluding the OC chapter. I don't know what I expect from Anacortes. I don't know that it can live up to my romanticized, idealistic fairytale of what it means to start over. Chances are, Anacortes will fail miserably on all accounts, leaving me with an empty cup and a heavy heart. It may fill my soul with bricks. It may leave me more broken hearted than when I came. But I will continue to be optimistic, hoping that I will learn to appreciate life and friendship, hoping that the crust that Orange County caked onto my skin will slowly wash off. Maybe I will learn to open up, maybe I will learn to be thankful for what I have and maybe all my rough edges will finally be smoothed out.

Will finally started packing up our room today. It's sad to walk in and see half-full boxes strewn about. They seem to taunt us, and remind us that everything is going to change. Maybe for the best but maybe not. It does feel good to make some progress, though. After all, there is no stopping us at this point so we might as well get a move on. I was walking through the apartment, trying to decide which items should be packed up first and which items we need till the very end. We've been living on so little these past months that everything seems important and vital. I have no idea where to start. There is a few things in the kitchen that made their way into boxes, a few decorative items... what next? How do you know what you are going to need over the next few days? All that's left is clothes... our bed... the bathroom stuff. Ugh. It's all so frustrating.

I have a feeling that this mental block is stemming from some sort of sub-conscience stubbornness. An unwillingness to focus and face reality for fear it might cause my eyes to well up and my legs to collapse. Besides, there are more exciting things to be worrying about right now. Like Thursday movie night, a relaxing Friday with friends and wine, our "Going Away Party" on Saturday and Super Bowl Sunday with the Chavez boys. I am glad our last weekend here is going to be so jam packed that we'll have no time to feel sad. No time to think about grown-up stuff. No time to worry. Just time enough to relax and enjoy the best of company.