Pie and Happiness.

Will and I rarely have days off together anymore. It sucks. I spend my days off, lonely and introverted and he spends his time off visiting me at work - Which is great but... I still have to work. Yesterday was Veterans Day so naturally the banks are closed (they close for everything) and I already had the day off. Yippee! to celebrate, Will and I spent the whole day galavanting around Old Town Bellingham. It was super cold, cloudy and completely picturesque. Just the perfect day for strolling around in maroon colored tights and flirty dress. But it eventually started to rain so we raced back to our little island where it was surprisingly sunny... well, cloudy/sunny. See I hate it when the sun comes out and spoils my good rainy day and I hate it when clouds spoil all the sunshine. In my opinion, there are only 2 types of good weather: All rain or all sun. None of this "partly cloudy" crap. It is always "partly cloudy" here.

But since the temperature has definitely dropped, I have definitely been craving comfort foods. Anything with a pastry crust or with a rich creamy broth, or anything covered in cheese. Last night we made another veggie pot pie (this time with peas and corn and extra butter) and simmered cider on the burner, and today I made a caramel apple pie which is currently cooling on the stove. I am a little bitter that I have to wait for Will to get off work before I can eat it, though. But I am going to try and be considerate that he had to work all day. Also, I really don't like the idea of eating a huge piece of pie by myself... I equate it to alcoholics who drink alone.
I've been wearing big sweaters and socks all week yet I refuse to close the windows. There is something about the crisp fall air that makes my skin prickle and my lungs feel infinite. And I love the romanticism it encourages. Big cups of steaming coffee clutched between your hands and cuddling under huge blankets and giant scarves and mittens. Pie, whipped cream, fall leaves- all things that are made more vibrant by the freezing air. For now anyway. I am sure that in a few months I will be sick to death of the cold. I check the weather down in Costa Mesa almost every other day and am amazed that it's so warm still. It's hard for me to imagine anywhere being 80 degrees when the high here is 48. I do miss the sunshine, tho. Whoever decided that Florida is the "Sunshine State" is crazy. Florida is the sticky, muggy, old people state. California is the epitome of sunniness.
Well I am off to pick up my hubby from work and then I am going to race back home to eat my pie. I will let you know how it is.

October Update

The holidays are literally haunting me. I can see them looming closer and closer with their menacing stare and impending destruction. Ugh. Now, I love the holidays. Usually. It's just that this year I wont be able to host my own festive parties, decorate my own tree or make Martha Stewart-ey crafts for my house. And I'll be missing Thanksmas... my favorite of holidays. However, Will and I  started brewing our holiday beer which we  appropriately named "Hoppy Holidays". We ordered cute labels for them too and we can't wait for it to be done!

Well, I guess I just have to work super hard to get my own place by next holiday season. On another note, Will and I just got back from Oahu on Saturday. It was amazing to get away from the cold and escape into a warm, tropical paradise. Hawaii is great for kayaking, snorkeling, hiking and sun bathing- all things I can never find time fore here in Washington. Sometimes I get really overwhelmed when I'm there. Like I'm wasting time lying in the sun all day... which is great- but there is so many exclusive things to do that you miss out on if your a bum on the beach. Luau's can be lame but a few years ago Will and I went to the Fia Fia luau at Ko 'Olina and it was rad. Guys jumping from the tops of palm trees and catching flaming torches mid air, comedy, drinks, pure entertainment. I love Hawaii. I don't know that I can see myself living there unless I lived at a 5 star resort but I still love it. I love waking up super early because of the time difference an watching the sun creep over the mountains, staring at the at the glassy pools and waving palm trees as I walk down to the steam room to swear out all the alcohol I drank the night before. I love how my hair gets all salty and wavy and shiny. I love the way my skin gets all dewy and glows. I love that I wear a bikini instead of underwear and I love that its acceptable to drink a beer at 10am because "its like, 1pm in LA right now."

 

Sadly, all those things I love are now over and I am back in Anacortes with more rain and cold than I know what to do with. It's October. Like clockwork, the freezing air crept in and took up residence. Blech. Today I am going to look at a cabin on the water just a few miles away. I know It's not realistic to rent a house right now, but I saw the add in a local newspaper and I cant help but dream. Plus the rent is only like 875 a month so I gotta check it out. Just for fun.

So here is what is going on the next few months with us:

Will starts school in January for his Masters in Accounting. We are really excited about this. He plans on taking courses at Cal State Dominguez Hills Online because we are technically still Cali residents and there are no good online programs up here. Anyway, it should take him about a year to finish but the beauty of the program is that we can move wherever we want and the school moves with us.

We are flying down to LA in January for Dan and Lauren's wedding for a whole week! I am super excited. Their wedding is on the 29th of January and mine and Will's anniversary is on the 24th.So we will be in town to see all my favorite OC peeps soon soon soon!!

This weekend is Halloween. This makes me sad. I keep thinking of the parties we used to throw with all our best friends... the talk of the town kind of stuff. This year I will be working and the going to bed early. But it makes me all the more motivated for next year!! We will make it out of the storm!! We will!! 

Penelope Sophia

Washington has taken us for yet another wild ride... a short while after we moved to town, my best friend from my childhood, Brittany, and her husband, Shaun Wagoner moved to Bellingham which is about 20 miles north of Anacortes. They, moved here, away from all their friends and family to start a new life apart from California. Just like us. But life never goes the way we plan. Brittany found out she was pregnant, then went into premature labor and gave birth to a 1 and a half pound baby. Baby Penelope is now fighting for her life at the Seattle Children's Hospital. It makes all my issues seem mediocre.I may hate where I live, but Penelope Sophia Wagoner would love the chance to be alive, anywhere in the world. So please pray or the Wagoners little girl. Recently, she underwent surgery for a torn intestine and may possibly be at risk for another tear. Pray for baby Penelope and read the Wagoners blog here and enter "penelopesophiawagoner" to see how they are doing. They need all the love they can get :)

Biker Mania!!

I just experienced my first Oyster Run. Over these past months I've realized that Anacortes likes to have a lot of "Festivals". I use quotations because most of the events are laaammmee. Like super lame. For example: Anacortes Festival of the Arts was basically a few mediocre, overpriced artists selling pieces they created in 1992 and local volunteer organizations selling overcooked burgers. Shipwrecked Days was supposed to be a "super awesome giant garage sale" but in reality it was people trying to sell their JUNK. Which people DO do at garage sales but, 'cmon, a semi-functional espresso machine from 1980 for only 50 dollars? Seriously? Then, there's The Waterfront Festival, some weird Pirate convention and a Croatian Festival (uhm, excuse me Anacortes, but putting the word "festival" at the end of everything doesnt make it "festive) . So all this talk about Oyster Run never really had an impact on me... until Saturday morning when all the bikes started pouring into town. I watched bike after hog after trike cruise by in countless numbers. Convoys of them! Bikers decked out in leather and tattoo's with crazy custom bikes.

(above)They don't call it Oyster Run for nothin'. Oysters Rockafeller is the way to go for all you novice oyster eaters.

As far as the eye could see...

Sunday, on which Compass was closed (thank the Lord), over 30 thousand (yes, thousand) bikers found their way into town. And all up and down Commercial Ave. there were tents selling leather jackets, giant skull rings, custom saddle bags and even a tent with a tattoo artist ready to go!!

check out this bling, yo! Im thinking about upgrading our wedding rings to one of these bad boys.

Just one of the many custom bikes. I like to refer this one as: My Little Indian Pony.

And here we have some crazy stunt guys. (And take a gander at the awesome, leather pony cuff sported by the blond in front)

Good fair food and crazy biker people. My only regret was dressing too conservatively. While I consider myself to be stylish by Vogue's standards, the biker community seems to favor high-healed boots, short leather skirts and leopard print faux fur. Today, I sported none of these items. I felt like a little girl in my tights and pointy toed flats. Mer. However,I made it better by consuming a couple of beers and head-banging to a mediocre cover band. That and, I'm not gonna lie, I took a substantial bite of a stellar looking hotdog. It was exhilarating and well worth the 3 hour stomachache that followed. At one point while the band was playing their rendition of a Jethro Tull song, a drunk biker stumbled on stage and demanded a mic. He then began to wail on his harmonica in a totally awesome, semi-cohesive solo. When he finished, I cheered as if I were one of them. I may have even gotten a little teary eyed. So to sum it up, Oyster Run might be the only thing that Anacortes does right. In other words: Take note from the biker peeps and get more awesome. Stat.

Summer's End

Will got the job. He got the job!!! He starts on monday at the US Bank in Anacortes. Though I am less than thrilled about him working in town, I am still wildly ecstatic about him being employed. Ideally, he would get a job closer to the 5 freeway, making it easier for us to move out and move on... Since Anacortes is so far west, with nothing but 20 miles farmland between it and the 5, moving away gets tricky. But we'll worry about that later.

In a final attempt to celebrate the short summer we've had here in the Northwest, Will and I decided to go camping. The weather this past week had been really amazing, so why not take advantage of it? So wednesday evening, after work, we drove all the way to the North Cascades to Baker Lake. As we are pulling in to the remote forests of the Cascade Mountains, the last glimmer of light had disappeared behind the trees, leaving us to set up camp with minimal visibility. While we were frustrated that we had spent precious daylight buying last minute junk foods at the local grocery store, we weren't frantic or anxious. Until we realized that all the campsites we either reserved or occupied. My mind flashes back to the phone conversation I had with the park ranger:

"Hi, can I make a reservation for this wednesday?"

"Aw, I'm sorry but you've missed the reservation cutoff for wednesday," he says in a surprisingly Australian accent.

"..."

"We need at least 3 days to reserve a spot for you. But don't worry about it, mate, no one camps during the week," Yep. He's definitely Australian.

"Really? So I just show up, then?"

"Yeah. Half of the camp is reservable and the other half is first come first serve. I don't think you'll have any problems."

"Sweet."

Back in real time, Will and I are growing more and more frustrated as each campsite is marked RESERVED and then a date is tacked to the post OR it is packed full of tents and dogs and kids. Will is getting increasingly more foul mouthed as it gets darker and darker and we have yet to find an available space. Finally, we check a "Reserved" space for the posted dates, and it appears the people have left early. Score!!

I start feeling better immediately, though the forrest gets awfully quiet after dark and it's intimidating. The campers turn in as soon the light dissipates. It's pitch black before you know it. But at least we don't have to sleep in our car! Will, on the other hand is still stressed because we haven't paid for the site... We had some cash on us but we were a few dollars short of the site fee. So we did not fill out the "Camping Permit" as the signs at the park entrance advised, instead we were going to wait until morning to figure everything out. Meanwhile, we are realizing all our camping gear is malfunctioning... Lanterns are busted and folding chairs are collapsing, air mattresses are leaking. All of this caused our mood to plummet. "Let's just go to sleep then," I suggest, hoping that in the morning, all will be well. As we start getting ready for bed, Penny, our tiny Yorkie, starts pulling and tugging on her leash and frantically trying to grasp at something just out of reach. Finally she succeeds and quickly chews whatever it was. I then notice that there are many pieces of what appears to be carne asada strewn everywhere, along with pools of grease by the grill... "Great."

We finally settled in to our tent on our limp mattress, trying to distribute blankets evenly and find a position that was semi comfortable... and from the woods, I hear a low growl/grunt. Penny is panicky and shaky nervous, which in turn, makes me nervous. "What was that?!" I whisper to Will. His response is "Well, we're gonna die. Awesome."

Needless to say, that night was a sleepless one. All night long, we heard shuffling of feet and, heavy breathing and sniffing from inside our tent. We knew better than to have food out in the open, but the greasy meat the previous campers left attracted plenty of wildlife. We woke ("We're alive!") the next morning to find large claw marks in the dirt around our tent. I was incredibly thankful for the dull morning light that cast a gray hugh over the forrest and made last night seem very far away. And even though there was a thick, misty cloud cover hanging above the trees, it was not at all ominous the way rain clouds are. It felt early and still and serene.

After some coffee and a TRUE california style breakfast burrito (soyrizo scrambled eggs, shredded cheese, avocado and Tapatio wrapped in a warm tortilla) We were feeling pretty optimistic about the remainder of the trip... we just needed to find a mini mart with an ATM so we can pay for the site. Now, I feel that in this moment, when I am most certain that all is right in the world, there is a mischievous leprechaun spying on me from the woods, rubbing his stubby hands together and saying "Not so fast, missy!" and then, with his evil magic, he makes everything go awry again. Because no more than 30 seconds of me feeling at ease did I hear Will curse from behind me.

"SHIT!"

"What now?" I want to roll my eyes at his constant over dramatization of everything, but I refrain, knowing it's childish.

He pulls another red "Reserved" slip from behind the Carne Asada Camper's slip. The dates are for today through Sunday. My heart sinks as I realize we have to pack up everything just hours after getting it all set up. I sigh. Then start packing in silence. Damn that imaginary leprechaun!! He ruins everything!!

By the time we get everything back into the car, it's 10 o'clock and all the campers are out and about, making bacon and chasing after their kids. Our plan is simple: Find a grocery store and get cash, buy a map of all the trails in the area, get back to the lake and hope to find a suitable campsite. Now, Will swears there was a mini mart a few miles down the road. Nope. All there is are trees. We realize all too late, that the closest store is at the bottom of the mountain about 20 miles down the road. And as we make our decent, a caravan of SUV's and minivans, fully packed with gear and kids, races up the mountain towards the lake. By the way they were moving, you might think they worked for the FBI on their way to a drug bust. We are screwed.

We finally made it back to the lake, about an hour or so later, to find the camp was crawling with newcomers, claiming their precious reserved spots. With little hope of success, we scoped the rest of the camp.... low and behold, a small site was vacant on the south side of the loop. Like our last campsite, the previous campers at this site also left behind a mess... of cigarettes! These people just flung their butts everywhere, like it wasn't even littering. Like the birds were going to collect them and use them for their nests, or they were going to disintegrate and fertilize the earth with their nutrient rich core. Seriously?! I was peeved. But I got over it. The rat race was over. And if I ever meet that Australian ranger, I am going to punch him in the face for offering such bad advice.

Once we finally got settled for real, it was awesome. Though there are a lot of campers and camp sites, it didn't feel as crowded as it was. We had a lot of room and there were so many trees and ferns that we still felt like we were in the wilderness. Which we were. I have the bug bites to prove it. I knew there were going to be bugs but... it was nuts. And as much as I hate using bug spray, I had no choice. Will read the label on the can and exclaims, "Oh, I see, mosquitos hate poison. The stay away from you because you are covered in poison." True statement. But what can you do? Although, if the mosquitos didn't kill us, the bug spray would. I saw a fellow camper set up a canopy over the picnic table that had netting on all sides to keep the bugs away. I envied that canopy.

So what exactly does one do on a camping trip? If you travel all the way to the beautiful National Forests of the Cascade Mountains, you would do things like kayaking, hiking, bike riding... you know do outdoors-ey stuff. But for me, I like to eat an drink. And then, when I have a good buzz going, I like to explore a little... but nothing too strenuous. I recently discovered that I hate physical activity. Eating is also a favorite pastime of mine. Did I say that already? So Will and I have come up with all these great semi-gourmet-but-mostly-just-awesome camping foods. I will post some awesome recipes soon!!

Smores!!

This and That

Life has been slow here in the northwest... not to mention cold. It rained all day on Saturday, yet hundreds of people flocked to the Arts Festival downtown. And no one had an umbrella. Funny, isn't it? That an outsider is distinguished by their use of an umbrella? As if it's a preposterous and frivolous luxury. But every time a townie stumbled into the wine shop, shivering and drenched, all I could think was, "You are an idiot." And still they bitched through chattering teeth about how all these tourists are crowding the sidewalks with their umbrellas. Good grief.

I guess I have taken a break from blogging simply because, in an effort to "just get by" we have forgotten to enjoy it a little... but at the same time, I would much rather wake up one morning and realize that we made it back to Orange County, safe and sound. Also, the novelty of living in the northwest has sort of lost its charm. Now the dense reality of overbearing liberals and Obama-loving extremists has finally set in. And what's with this "3 Minute Shower" campaign? Seriously? I am all about saving the planet but not at the expense of cleanliness. Oh, I also discovered that California is one of the "greenest" states in the country. They use the same amount of energy as they did 30 years ago, yet their economy has increased by 80 percent. So booya, California haters!!! So with that said, blogging about our lives up here without gushing on the queerness of it all, leaves me with little to report. Everything is more mundane and routine. 6 months in a new town feels like forever.

There is, however, a bit of news on the job front. We have our fingers crossed for a potential job for Will... I am praying and praying that he gets a positive call in the next few days from US Bank. Our lives are on the brink of change!!! But while I am extremely optimistic about this prospect, I am still trying not to jinx it by being overly presumptuous. So enough of this topic!!

Remember that bike I bought?? I have yet to ride it. The breaks are weak and need to be changed, which isn't terribly hard to do, but I cant seem to motivate myself. Also, I need to make a few pricy aesthetic changes like a new paint job and saddle but those are a low priority as far as spending money goes. So it sits in the garage , lonely and pouting like a puppy in time-out.

There are a lot of things in my life that I struggle to find motivation for.... reading, organizing, exercising. The list is extensive. But no matter how much I need to do these things, I always find myself succumbing to the call of Netflix... "just veg out," it says. And I agree. Oh, how I need to go to the gym!! In a mere month and a half I will be sunbathing on the beaches of Hawaii with all too flabby arms... gross. But as long as there is plenty of wine, I suppose it doesn't matter. Wine is the root of all my laziness.

Lovers Again

Bike

I bought a vintage 3 speed for forty dollars today at the thrift shop. Best forty dollars I ever spent. It needs a paint job, a new seat and a cute basket, but I think that once it's spiffied up, it will be amazing! And it will keep me busy... probably. Painting the bike alone sounds difficult, with all the sanding, stripping, disassembling and curing. Luck for me, Will's dad used to work at a bike shop back in the day so he can help me fix the breaks and alignment and stuff. Yippie! Now if only the weather would permit me to ride it to work once it's done.

It's been so gray lately. The sun finally decided to come out to play at 6pm this evening, meaning we got a full 4 hours of sunlight. Yes, the sun sets at 10 o'clock here. So as we were driving down Commercial to Blockbuster, enjoying the weather for once, a cop pulls us over for having a headlight out. Seriously guy? It looks like midday out!!! Who cares if our headlight is out!!! I guess I am mostly upset because this is the second time we've been pulled over for it AND we've ordered the parts to fix it already... and because we've gotten 3 flat tires over the course of three days. BAH! Worst luck ever. Cars and me do not mix well, which is why I bought the bike.

Obsessive Victory

I was supposed to spend the better part of today, cleaning, doing laundry, making brownies, etc because tomorrow at 11am, I am picking up my daddy and uncle from the airport. I am so excited and I had such high hopes for this afternoon... I woke up at 7 this morning and started disinfecting the bathroom, freshening up the couches and washing linens... I was on a roll. Then Kim went to bed for the day... she works the night shift, which means, no vacuuming. grrrr. Vacuuming us a huge part cleaning a house with 4 dogs and a cat. Everything needs to be vacuumed. And now everything had to be put on hold until she woke up for work. at 9 :/ Now what?

I had stopped my mad sewing project for a few days because the thought of all that measuring and cutting gave me stomach ulcers. Especially when my first 2 attempts led me to believe I would have to make a million prototypes before I could make anything good. But today... well it still made me woozy to think about but I told myself that if I took it slow enough and really thought it through, then I could make a real one. Plus, I was out of scrap fabric :/ So all day, I sewed and cut and measured and sewed. I even forgot to eat. And by the time Kim got up for work, I was so engrossed with my project that I couldn't break away. I mean, I wanted to, but... I just wanted this damned thing to be finished!! I was so close!! I think I was at it from 2 until 11... blech. But I finished. And I think it's wearable, even.

Hallelujah! All those nights I lost sleep over this stupid thing were worth it! I mean, there are still a lot of bad stitches and uneven hems, but I feel pretty good about it :)

Now that I've finished obsessing over that tool belt, it's time to face reality and realize that my dad is STILL coming to visit tomorrow and I have accomplished very little in regards to his arrival. Not to mention, it is now 12:30am and I have to be up at 7 and have to spend a whole day in Seattle, then attend a Mariners game at 8pm... I am going to be so tired. And I still have to make brownies.

My Nine Legged Octopus

I drew a nine legged octopus at work today. I know they're only supposed to have eight but I thought he looked better with nine. Graceful. Mysterious. Frightning. That's what I was going for. I first was inspird by some fabric I found at Spoonflower.com.

And then my boss brought in this huge welded sculpture into the store that had legs like an octopus that curved and flowed in a cylindrical pattern and rested flat against the wall. He called it a trophy. Or an award of some sort. It intrigued me. So as the rain drizzled outside and warded off any potential customers, I drew my nine legged octopus as if it were my destiny. Well, to be honest, I am not an artist. So I was quite impressed with myself for drawing anything that even remotely resembled a familiar object. Go me. Actually, the octopus has been showing up all over the place. On dinner plates, wall art, sculptures... everywhere. So get ready for a deep sea invasion of artistic versions of sea horses, jelly fish, mermaids and octopi. Get. Ready.

So last night I had these horrible nightmares that my boss was going to fire me because the pockets on my tool belt were too ugly.I kept trying to mentally piece together an acceptable looking pocket and jolted awake every half hour thinking I had to wake up and finish it before work. Ugh. Honestly, this tool belt is like a Labyrinth. I have no map, I have no skills, I am just blindly trying to accomplish the impossible and it stresses me out.

So I decided to tackle one single piece of the toolbelt instead of trying to finish the whole thing.

POCKETS

But first off I need to gather some necessary supplies:

So... wine has no positive effect on my sewing whatsover. It basically causes me to make the same mistakes over and over and over until I want to scream and then I take another guzzle of wine and carry on. It's entirely counter productive yet it makes all my adversities seem a thousand times more bearable. I am also hoping it will help me to sleep later seeing I am running on fumes at this point.

Now, last night, while blogging about my crappy pockets, I had an epiphany. Sew the sides of the pockets on first, then sew on the face. This actually worked. Now, I'm not sure if this is the most efficient method of creating pockets, but my results were encouraging.

It looks like a box-ey pocket!! However, sewing the sides on first led me to yet another unforeseen problem... an inability to properly center the piece!! So, though I have a well structured pocket, I have no room to sew on a flap because I have misjudged the amount of room I was going to have above the piece and below the hemline.!! Tragedy! Now I have to create ANOTHER God forsaken, useless pocket on another mock tool-belt before I can finally make a wearable item! I know this is all a part of the learning process but sometimes I feel like I am going to make my best piece while I am sewing with my scrap fabric... it will be too ugly to wear yet the expensive stuff will have crooked stitches and an off- centered pocket. grrr. I need more wine. Carry on.

Summer Projects

Even though it's been raining nonstop for the last 3 days, June is a mere 3 days away, meaning that summer will soon peek it's sleepy head through the clouds and make everything beautiful and set everything right. I have been keeping myself busy work lately, just to stay sane and keep my mind off the things in my life that frustrate me. Like how all our stuff in the garage is getting buried by everyone else's stuff, or that we still haven't heard back from Chase Bank or that our car desperately needs a tune up.

Speaking of work, while I was at Compass the other day, I realized that I don't have enough pockets. I have a box cutter, tape, mini scissors, mini stapler... all things that I have to run back and forth to use while filling orders, organizing bottles, shipping product etc... so I decide to buy a tool belt of sorts. Like a cute one. From Etsy. But it turns out... no one makes a tool belt. They make fanny packs, a hip "purses" and vendor aprons but nothing like what I am looking for. Well... there is this one girl that made these "Joey Bags" that are similar to what I need but the fabric she uses is, well, not cute enough for me. So... I guess I have to make one myself.

First things first: Learn to Sew. I don't have time for this. I need a belt now.

Next: buy fabric. easy enough.

Now I need a workspace:

... eh... it's not perfect but it's functional. I don't have a whole lot of space to work with so I am actually surprised I got a low bookshelf, storage ottoman and a lamp to resemble a desk.

Now to make a pattern. Mind you, the only experience I have with sewing is on a tiny Hello Kitty machine and I hemmed pieces of fabric until they resembled napkins. So I busted out a colored pencil and some news paper and started drawing, pinning and cutting. Low and behold, my first finished product came out looking like this:

Not bad. Actually, it ended up looking very similar to the Joey Bag on Etsy. I used a piece of scrap fabric to practice so the finished product should look a lot more stylish. I think I am going to shorten the length and make it a little wider... so it will be more oblong. and I am going to use 2 contrasting fabrics for the lining and shell. I also need to use some interfacing fabric to give it some structure. But I honestly have really high and unrealistic expectations for this belt. I mean, look at those pockets... they're terrible. And those stitches?? The tension is off and I can't sew a straight line to save my life. So my finished product might end up looking like it was made by a three year old. I know you can't see all the flaws up close but... it's far from wearable. Does anyone know how to make box pockets? How the heck do you sew all the seams onto the front of something? I mean... I made the pocket, then sewed one side to the face of my belt... and then what? Do I have to hand sew it? I ended up folding the unfinished edge under and sewing on top of the pocket, defeating the whole "box" thing I was going for. Now that I think about it... if I sewed all the edge pieces on first... then sewed the face of the pocket on to them it might work... maybe. I will have to try again tomorrow!

Progress

So, a lot has changed since my last blog... sort of. Will finally got an interview at Chase Bank after 4 months of job hunting. If he gets the job (we should be hearing back from them this week) it will mean he will have to drive an hour north of Anacortes to Bellingham every day. I know, it kills me to think of all the miles he will put on our car... and the cost of gas :/ But we have to take whatever we can get at this point. We have also put together a 6-months-to-financial-freedom plan that I am pretty excited about. 6 months of aggressive debt reduction and another 6 months of aggressively building our savings. Phew! It's exhausting even to talk about it, but every day of sticking to the plan will bring us one step closer to a place of our own, to hardwood floors, a vegetable garden and waking up feeling free again.

It's gotten harder these past weeks to keep it together. I am stifled. My creativity, my personality. I need to get out. I need to have control over my life again. I have to repeat my goals over and over like a mantra just to keep sane sometimes....

On a side note, Will painted the bedroom today. Yellow. Just like at our old place. And also just like our old place, it looks like mustard or Mac and Cheese. How did I manage to do it twice?! I thought I had learned my lesson the first time but it looks like we will be making another trip to Home Depot to fix our color mishap. Again. We also replaced the ugly red curtains, finally. Now they are white and they let in just enough light and night breeze into the room so we don't feel so claustrophobic. Will says it feels like sleeping in a tent... the curtains blow gently from side to side and turn the light in the room a soft grayish-silver. We laid in bed the other day and listened to the kids play soccer next door and to the trees rustling in the wind. Just like camping.

We also put blinds in the awkward shaped windows that face the refinery so we aren't blinded by the morning sun that creeps in a 5 am. They don't block out all the light but it's way better than before. The only problem is, that any changes we make so that we sleep more comfortably, (louder fans, mattress toppers, new sheets etc.) always throws me off for the first couple of days. Like now the room looks different in the early morning and I seem to sense it so I wake up and can't fall back asleep. This morning I was up at 5. So by 7am I kicked Will out of bed and we went on a hike before work. A nice brisk walk in the quiet, shady forrest of Washington Park. We stopped at the scenic view point at the South Bluffs and admired the turquoise water and the quiet town below... perfect.

When I got to work at 11, I saw a flier for a 10k marathon in June. I want to enter. Washington Park is 2.2 miles long and I think I can run in the race if I run the park every morning before work. I would have to run it 3 times. yikes. Will doesn't think we can do it. Party Pooper! But I feel if I spend the money on registration then it will force me to get in shape. And to spend my mornings being productive instead of with Cory Matthews and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. But I literally would have 3 weeks to train and I got up to pee just now and my ass is pretty sore from our walk this morning. Not a good sign. I think I'll sign up regardless... the money goes to support our local library's and I would much rather help our community out by getting my ass into shape than by flipping burgers like Will did this past weekend...

Will keeps getting volunteered to help out the Anacortes Lions Club by running burger trucks at the Waterfront Festival or by cleaning up parks or whatever. I, thankfully, had to be at work both these days but Will had nothing better to do so his parents offered his help to "the community". I realized recently that I really don't like our community. Is that bad? I mean, I don't relate to the people here at all and I definitely don't see myself living here long term... Everyone here is old, ugly and square!! Square, I tell you!!! Believe me, I tried finding the hip, fun people and there are none. I feel like people come here to die. If it weren't for the beauty of God's creation, this place would suck. Thankfully it has been blessed with ample amounts of nature. And a really great Thai restaurant.

Maybe if I felt like I had something to gain from Anacortes (you mean, besides financial freedom???) then maybe I would see helping out as important. But I can't. I can't even recycle. It doesn't seem important here. I mean, it IS important, just not to me. And it's not because I hate the earth or anything because I WANT to recycle and to compost and to ride my bike to work but I just can't seem to muster up enough energy to do any of it. Jolyn and Doug even have a veggie garden planted out back but I honestly want no part in it. Why? I daydream about my own garden every day so why can't I put some time into the one that's already planted? Because how can I care about those things right now when I don't even have my own place to live? When my husband is unemployed and when everything else in my life is chaos? My life is a mess. I can't fix my own life and the planet all in the same day. Not. Gonna. Happen. So, in order to start saving the planet, I must first fix my debt. Then I'll think about composting.

The Crazy

We are all a little bit crazy. There is no way around it and there are no exceptions. We freak out when someone eats all the frozen burritos, we have a melt down when our friends make us late to the movies, we slam doors and throw tantrums when someone erases Lost from the DVR. What I have discovered, though, is that certain people bring out the crazy more than others...

When I was in high school and living with my parents, I was like a time bomb waiting to explode on whomever was in my proximity... I mean, yeah I was hormonal and going through puberty like all high schoolers but everything about me screamed "bitch". Every word that came out of my mouth dripped with sarcasm, disgust and hatred... Especially when I was talking to my family. I hated my sister for being so skinny and blond, I hated my brother for never having to do chores around the house, I hated my dad for never being understanding and I hated my mom for over cooking the steak (or something else ridiculous)

I had a pretty normal family. We were middle class, my mom stayed home for most of our childhood, we went to church every Sunday and we had family dinners on a regular basis. And like most families, ours went through a divorce. I mean, yeah it sucked but I don't blame any of my problems on it. I don't blame my depression, my bulimia, my neuroses or anything else on it. We were still a family and we still loved each other. But I think it's funny that the people who are supposed to love you the most are the ones who bring out the absolute worst in you. And they judge you the harshest and the wounds they inflict on you last the longest.

There is no question that my family tip toed around the house when I was going through the worst of my Crazy. If you mentioned one word about me eating too much pizza I would scream and throw things, then go to the bathroom to throw it all up. Then I would scream at you for not stopping me. It was always your fault. I would run away from home and if you tried to stop me I would drop kick you in the driveway and pull out all your hair. For real. Crazy.

After I moved out of my moms house in 2005 my whole life changed. The control I now had over my life made me feel empowered... I didn't have to purge all my food. I didn't have to scrub the floors with my toothbrush, I didn't have to agonize over my sisters clothes being strewn all over my bedroom. My life was all mine. I didn't have to share it. The best part, though, was that I had more respect for my family... I loved them more.

As time went on, the memories of my Crazy became less and less clear; I morphed into a a productive, caring, normal person and I never had to worry about hurting the people I loved. Until one day...

Christmas 2009. Recently. We were supposed to be happy, and drunk on champagne and full of fatty foods while we opened presents. But no. Drama. All of a sudden, I lost control of who I was. I shouted,I struck, I hurt the people I loved. It scared me because I never wanted to see this side of myself again. I especially never wanted Will to see it and I think that scared me the most. I was afraid he would never look at me the same way. But he calmed me down, my family left and I went back to normal. Thank God.

Will brings out the best in me. Will makes me be a better person without even trying. I guess the point I am trying to make here, is that no matter how much you love someone or how much they love you back, there is always a part of you that can't help but act irrationally when you're around them. Less is more, in a sense. And it doesn't mean that's the "real" you.

Anyway, the reason I bring all this up is because I used to think that I suffered in this alone. But I talked to my sister-in-law the other day and it turns out, this is more common than I thought! Anyway, thanks for listning to my rant :)

For the Love

I can't believe it's already mid April. It's almost 2 months since we first arrived and the changes I had hoped to make here in Washington are coming along much slower than I had hoped. But things are getting a little more stable, thankfully. Though I am not thrilled to be thrown back in to the 40 hour work week, I AM glad to finally be employed.

For those of you who know me, you know I love to drink wine. And now I not only enjoy it recreationally, I drink it professionally. Seriously. I stumbled upon a job at Compass Wines accidentally one day when Will and I went in to the shop to check out their selection and then to taste whatever they offered. We got to talking to the lady behind the counter and I casually mentioned that I would love to work there. Low and behold, a few days later one of the employees put in her 2 weeks so they called me up and a within a week, I was a full time employee for Compass.

The first week on the job, I probably tasted over 100 different wines from all over the globe. Sound intense? It was. Will's mom, Jolyn, bought me a wine notebook to keep track of all the new things I tasted but I soon realized it was unrealistic to write down everything because I had already used up most of the pages after only a few days!! And it didn't matter how good my notes were, I didn't remember 80 percent of the stuff I tatsed even after reviewing that days tastings in my book. SO I decided to enter only my favorites... which may turn out to be a problem because all my favorites seem to be in the $50 + range... even with my employee discount. All in all, Compass is a fun place to spend my day, drinking wine and meeting new people.

Slowly but surly we are making our way towards adulthood... again. First comes a stable job, then comes a mortgage and a couple of babies? Or something like that. Regardless how I feel about working 40 hours a week (which is "not good") I feel great about moving forward. really.

Full Bloom

You know that it's spring when you're driving down the 20 and all you see is a carpet of pink to your right. Since the day we arrived in February, all anyone could talk about was the tulips. "Just wait till spring, the tulips will blow your mind." And so they have.

It has been a strange winter... the sun shined far too bright and gave everyone the impression that Winter forgot to come to Anacortes this year, but all too soon, the sun disappeared and now we are left with a fairly drab Spring. Like Winter is pissed that he slept in and is now fighting Spring for some attention. Anyway, the tulips were evidently confused because they bloomed wayyyy too early. Still, people bundle up in their coats and rain boots to brave the wind and massive puddles to see them because no one wants to miss the vibrant, sweeping colors of the millions of flowers that have overtaken Skagit County. Your eyes can't stop widening to let in all the color and you certainly can't deny that it's spring.

The "Tulip Festival" is really just a bunch of local gardens that open up to boast their spring flowers during their first few weeks of spring. Local vendors set up tents within the gardens and gift shoppes stock their shelves for the mobs of tourists that come to visit. There are no parades, no flags and no marching bands. Some places offer helicopter tours, and there are fudge tastings and such. There are events that take place, but they are scattered throughout the county rather than all happening in one place like the term "festival" implies. Nonetheless, the experience is worth it.

We visited Roozengaarde to start. William Roozen (which means "Rose" in Dutch) came to the US in 1947 from Holland after WWII. Since Skagit County has such a similar climate, many Hollanders migrated to the area and began to farm tulips. William purchased 5 acres of tulip fields in 1950 and it has since grown to over 2,000 acres and is the largest tulip distributer in the world. Rumor has it that Roozengaarde ships their bulbs to Holland who, in turn, sells the bulbs back to the US as "Bulbs of Holland"... so... I think that's lame.

Roozengaarde is amazing... there are so many varieties of daffodils, hyacinth, iris and tulips all of which are incredibly colorful. The garden is carefully planted and it blooms into perfect patterns of color and variety while the fields are just vast seas of flowers... To me, the fields are the most visually stunning, not just because the flowers are gorgeous but because I have never seen anything like that up close. Since the tulips are expected to stay in full bloom until early May, we are going to visit the other gardens in the area when the weather is warmer. After tromping through the fields and braving all the elements, we headed to La Conner for some hot soup to warm our bones. Then it seemed appropriate to get some fancy tea and a good book from the local shops to end our day the right way :)

(there were plenty of signs that discouraged playing in the fields but I ignored them. As I should have.)